A Humorous Update on DWTS Week5


I like to watch “Dancing With the Stars”. I thought I’d give those of you who missed it a birds eye view of what what happened half-way there.  My qualifications: I know what good dancing looks like! Can I dance? Not really.

Jaleel White and Kim Johnson /Samba

Erkel must work out in the gym.  He was showing his six-pack, and wearing an orange outfit. He also moved with skill and rhythm.

I thought he was underrated. Maybe the judges just can’t get the nerdy Erkel out of their minds.

24/ 30

Melissa Gilbert and Maxim/ SALSA

Melissa must be desperate for attention. She’s dancing with a concussion and whiplash. She hit Maxim’s leg last week with her head.  She asked him to put some of the same moves back in the routine. Maybe the concussion affected her common sense.

She was wearing a yellow and pink outfit. He put her between his legs. I hope she doesn’t have to go back to the hospital because he dragged her head on the floor. I’m still rooting for Half-Pint.

Dancing with whiplash and a concussion doesn’t impress these judges.

21/30

Maria Menounos and Derek/Salsa

If only she could change her laugh, I would really be rooting for her. Her costume was really cute. She looked like a Las Vegas dancer with a big head-dress.

She did a really good job. I know this because I didn’t spend the entire time watching Derek.

Derek took off his shirt and kissed her at the end. Carrie Ann thought that was too much.

I don’t know what they have to do to get a 10.

27/30

Katherine Jenkins and Mark/Argentine Tango

While they were rehearsing she hit Mark in his private parts more than once. Did we have to know this?

She was wearing a beautiful pink outfit, and looked gorgeous. She danced with perfection, no doubt about it.

Grumpy Len gave them a 9, but the other two judges gave them 10’s.

29/30

Gavin Degraw and Karina/Samba

They showed Gavin asking for votes at his concert. It’s like he’s trying to cheat.

He was wearing a white outfit and white hat.

He’s a weak dancer. Everyone likes the guy, but he ought to stick to singing and playing the piano. Isn’t that enough for him?

19/30

In the middle of everything, Carlos Santana does his masterful guitar playing.  I think everything he plays sounds the same, but what do I know? Two Dance-Pros did a beautiful Latin dance and showed us how it’s supposed to look.

William Levy and Cheryl/ Argentine Tango

During rehearsal they show that William is all stressed out. He doesn’t want to disappoint his new American fans. He is one hunky cute guy. When he comes out, we’re informed that he had an accident. His ankle is a mess.

His dance is a wow! Sexy and perfect.

Judges say “wow” Of course, grumpy old Len gives him a 9 instead of a 10

29/30

Gladys Knight and Tristan/Samba

Gladys is wearing a way too short green outfit.

Tristan  looked like he was really leading  her around the dance floor. I felt embarrassed for Gladys.

The judges didn’t agree with me. They were kissing up to Gladys. Even Gladys knew it wasn’t so good, but she said she “enjoyed it.”

They showed their true feelings by her score. I got to admire this lady. She ain’t no spring chicken, and I know what that’s like!

22/30

Roshon Fegan and Chelsie/Salsa

Roshon is a Disney star, and dances great. He’s no William Levy and he knows it. He brought in a picture of William Levy to the rehearsal, and asked him how to make sexy moves. It was cute.

He was wearing  all black with a blue shirt.

I knew he was good because I watched him the entire time.

The judges apparently go for hunks because they underrated him.

26/30

Donald Driver and Peta /Angentine Tango

He watches the dance moves on a video screen, and acts like he’s training for a football game. He’s a tough guy, but seems gentle too.

She’s wearing a red dress, and he’s wearing a black outfit with a red shirt.

He’s carrying her around the dance floor like she’s as light as a football. This guy is strong. He is sexy too.

He got a good score, but wasn’t happy with it. I guess they teach those football players to kill and win!

27/30

Update: Gavin had a dance-off with Jaleel in front of the judges. It was a foregone conclusion who would win. Ingratiating yourself with your fans will only get you so far. Congratulations Jaleel.

Any opinions would be greatly appreciated.

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3 thoughts on “A Humorous Update on DWTS Week5

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