10 Good reasons not to have children….some observations from a mature woman

Child 1

Child 1 (Photo credit: Tony Trần)

Let me clarify this by saying, I liked being a parent, but I’ve seen other people who shouldn’t have even thought about it for a moment.

As my children will tell you, I was not perfect, but I did my best. (Besides I had a husband who was very well-suited for the job.) I think it always helps when there are two of you, but I guess it’s not necessary.

Here are my observations. I can do this because I am very mature, and don’t care what anyone thinks.

I invite you to agree or disagree with me!

Don’t have kids if…..

1. You are basically selfish. There’s no room for selfishness here, only unselfishness.

2. You are trying to save your marriage. Children will topple over a shaky marriage, and it’s not fair to bring them into a bad situation. Only bring children into a good situation.

3. You are lonely…. get a dog or cat instead. They can’t speak, and will give you unconditional love.

4. You have a low-level of frustration. Nothing will try your patience more than little kids. Your frustration will plunge to depths you didn’t know existed. (However, if you’re lucky their cuteness will keep you from losing it altogether. I guess it’s nature’s way.)

5. You just want to dress them up like a little doll. Chances are they won’t share your taste. This preference for clothing shows up quite early in life. When they figure out what you like, they’ll go the opposite direction. (Besides when they’re infants they may spit up on the outfit.)

6. You are lonely. Don’t put another person in charge of keeping you from loneliness. It isn’t fair, and it doesn’t really work.  (Have you seen Octomom, she looks very busy! As you can see if you read the link attached to this, she’s resorted to porn.)

7.  You want to live as a millionaire. (Does this really need an explanation?)

8.  You want a friend . Good parents look at their children as their responsibilities not as friends. You want to fit in with your friends who have children. Your children might not get along with your friend’s kids. Then, you won’t see them at all.

9, You want someone to give you comfort in your old age. Sometimes that works, other times, they may live on the other side of the world. You shouldn’t bring people into the world to take care of you.

10. You freak out when you hear a lot of noise, or smell unpleasant odors.  Be prepared to be around a lot of noise and smells, at least in the formatiive years.  Sitting in a quiet odorless room may be a rare pleasure.

Any additions to this list. Feel free!

11 thoughts on “10 Good reasons not to have children….some observations from a mature woman

  1. So true, so true. It bothers me a lot when others feel sorry for people who don’t have children. We have a number of friends who are childless and most of them should be. Not because they wouldn’t have made good parents–they would have–but because they would not have enjoyed parenting, and it can be a terrible burden if you don’t like doing it. It was, and continues to be, a source of great joy in my life, but not everyone feels that way.

  2. One of the critical factors that no one adresses are the “in-laws” that your kids bring into your life when they marry! Not just the new mate but the whole entourage!!! I have found myself with the “daughter-in-law from HELL” who has cut me off from any contact with my grand-kids!

  3. Good list!
    I’d maybe add that kids as an antidote to loneliness can be a life-long disaster – lots of parents say their lonelier WITH a child than without.
    I like kids, but only the interesting ones. I like entertaining kids, but I love handing them back to their parents after a little while. Kids like me because I treat them like people, not like toys – give them a bit of space and answer their questions honestly. But they wouldn’t like me 24/7 because I’m a grouchy old bat most of the time. Lousy parent material, so it’s good that I’m not one…

    • It’s no crime not to be a parent. There are always kids who are looking for a little bit of attention if you want to give it to them.

      thanks you so much for making a comment. I will visit your blog when I’m done approving this comment!

      • Why, do you think, we are never given ANY education about having and bringing up children? It’s the most vital job possible, it’s for life, and it has such a profound effect on you and all around you – but everyone is just pitched into it and left to get on with it. There are books, there are classes, and after the birth there are authorities to watch you, but no consistent, pragmatic, spiritual or psychological education. If I were in charge, there’d be classes on it from aged 5 upwards…

  4. There aren’t any classes on running a household, keeping a budget, or paying bills either. You are so right about there not being an education about it. When I had my first child, I had no idea what to expect, and I had a degree in elementary education.

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