Dr. Phil’s show is sordid, but sometimes nuggets of wisdom emerge

An icon illustrating a parent and child

An icon illustrating a parent and child (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I hate to admit this, but I do sometimes turn on the Dr. Phil. TV show.  It’s really sordid. Sometimes,  I wonder if his guests are merely actors pretending to be real people.

I didn’t fully watch his show today, but at the end of the show, he had  a psychologist on who had some good tips for listening to your kids.

Listening to your kid’s concerns and problems is one of the most important thing a parent can do.  It’s called paying attention to them.

Remembering the chaos that surrounds children makes it sometimes difficult to give them your full attention. Fulfilling their physical needs sometimes takes precedence over their emotional ones.

Today’s parents have to be exhausted. Both parents, or only a single parent,  have to work full-time jobs to make ends meet. Some parents are working more than one job. I can’t imagine how hard it would be today. Gas prices, food prices, and all those valid problems.

I think cell phones, computers, I-pads and all that technical stuff has to make it even harder to talk to your kids.  It bothers me when I’m out somewhere, and people are paying more attention to their phones than their kids. It’s a little frightening. Some of those kids have forlorn expressions on their faces.

What really bothers me when  both parties, the child and the parent, are busy on their communication devices. Then, they don’t seem to be together at all.

Tips for listening to your kids

Put all that stuff aside when your kid is talking to you. Fully look at the child. One thing the psychologist pointed out is that children can read your body language and your facial expressions. They’re going to pick up on whether you’re really listening.

Do reflective listening. See if you can tell how the child is feeling. Reflect this back by saying, “I know you’re feeling hurt, or I think you’re feeling…… Don’t make it phony. (I had a friend who always used to say, “I hear you.” Finally I asked her if she’d gotten that expression in her graduate course.).

Be supportive. I think that’s also important. Try to see their side of things. Then discuss it with them. You may not agree, but at least know how they’re thinking

What do you think? How do you listen to your kids? Please don’t do it holding your i-phone!

8 thoughts on “Dr. Phil’s show is sordid, but sometimes nuggets of wisdom emerge

  1. I agree that it is sooooo very important to listen to your children. My kids are 28 and 30 and my husband still tells me to this day, “Listen first. Just listen, refrain from asking questions.” I don’t know if it’s inherited or cultural, but I can go from 1 question to the next like my own 89-year old mom and I have learned to just listen first. My husband has always said that children will tell you more if you just listen. Wise man. Great soul-mate, wonderful dad!

    • Yes, I wish I would have listened more carefully. The funny thing is that sometimes my mother would be looking at her newspaper while I was trying to talk to her, and it sometimes upset me. Good for your husband!

  2. Thanks for pinging my blog. I can assure you, as the recipient of two opportunities to be on Dr. Phil, we would have been real guests as opposed to actors. But I mainly wanted to be on the show so Dr. Phil would look at my husband and say, “So how’s that working for ya?” LOL

    Great post. I hate cell phones. I just stop talking when I see the tops of the crumbsnatchers heads when I’m trying to have a conversation with them. They realize it now, put their phones down and apologize….most of the time. 🙂

    • Yes, he’s out for the ratings. He has some really sorry people on his show. They all look so nice too. They wear new clothes, jewelry, and things like that. Then they talk about incest, drugs, rape, thievery, etc. etc. He does get them all therapy. I wonder how that works out?

    • I don’t see a comparison to the Dr. OZ show. He has people who are really helpful like “The Hungry Girl.” I think he gives some really good nutritional advice. I guess he does help advertise certain products, but I think it’s stuff he really believes in. I like his lessons on how the body works. Thank you so much for your comment. I will check out your website. Mainly, because I, too am just over broke! Sad but true.

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