Seeing my bad behavior reflected in others : It’s never too late to change!


When I was a little kid, I used to tattle on my sisters,  even when they didn’t really do anything wrong. I’d say, “mommy she’s hitting me, or pinching me, or kicking me.” Sometimes those things would happen, but more often they didn’t. After all, siblings do regularly plummet each other.

One day I was playing at a neighbor’s house. I was about 7 or 8.  I distinctly remember sitting in a treehouse.  I was listening to the little sister constantly complain about her brother. I suddenly realized that was how I was acting. It didn’t make me happy to see my own annoying behavior mirrored back at me. After that day, I stopped the tattling.

Another thing I’m still not good at is accepting apologies. My husband can say, “I’m sorry” and I still go on. I think I’ve done that with other people too.

I took me until today to realize that is not good behavior. I won’t give you the details, but I apologized to someone about a minor infraction and they were still upset.

From this day on, I will be accepting people’s apologies. Really accepting them.

Who says it’s never too late to change? I’m 63 and 1/2.

Is there a behavior you display that you can change. Did you ever have one of those wake up moments.

My two older sisters and me!

My two older sisters and me!

Why is the president of “The Ohio State University” so thoughtless?


I live in Columbus, Ohio. I did get here by attending “The Ohio State University.” When you live in Columbus, Ohio, you better get used to hearing about The Ohio State Buckeyes. When they win, everyone is in a fantastic mood, and when they lose we are all sad. To see who won

Picture of Gordon Gee, president of Ohio State...

Picture of Gordon Gee, president of Ohio State University (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

the game, you don’t have to check the scoreboard, just look at everyone’s expressions. When you’re traveling you know you’re heading toward home when people on the plane are wearing Buckeye scarlet and gray garb. I am just as bad as everyone else.

 

The president of the university, Gordon Gee, has to be a bright man. He actually went to “Brown”, his old Alma Mater to become their president for a while. He must do his job well because they’re paying him millions of dollars to oversee “The Ohio State University.” How many people can make millions of dollars in a year?

His fashion sense isn’t great. He wears a bow tie constantly. That must say something about him. Is he a nonconformist, too lazy to tie a tie, or does he just want attention?

 

He does have a nasty habit of sticking his foot down his mouth. In December, he said something inappropriate about Catholics. This was directed against the Notre Dame football team. “The fathers are holy on Sunday, and they’re holy hell the rest of the week. You just can’t trust those damn Catholics on a Thursday or a Friday.”

 

This is supposed to be funny? I don’t find it the least bit amusing. The board is treating his like he’s 12, and requiring him to apologize. I don’t know who he’s going to apologize to? The Pope? They’re also making him attend some kind of class or lecture on how to be more tactful.

 

Maybe they should teach him about life in the 21st century. Maybe someone should inform him that bullying and making fun of groups of people is not socially appropriate. Maybe in 1945 that would go over, but not it 2013? What kind of role modeling is this behavior. Isn’t he a leader of a lot of students? It sounds a lot like something a bully might say!

This isn’t the first inappropriate thing he has said.

 

But he’ll stick around, and probably make another mistake in a few months.

 

The big shots in life just can get away with all kinds of things.

 

What do you think?

 

Should people ever hold grudges? Is there a time when a grudge supersedes resolving issues?


Resentment

You can’t expect to live life without running into problems. Sometimes people get so frustrated, that they decide to hold a grudge.  What’s so unsettling about a grudge is that it keeps the bitter feelings alive. It hurts all parties involved every time they think about it.

According to my New Oxford  Online Dictionary a grudge is: resentment, bitterness, rancor, pique, umbrage, dissatisfaction, disgruntlement, bad feelings, hard feelings, ill feelings, ill will, animosity, antipathy, antagonism, enmity, animus; informal a chip on one’s shoulder.

We all know about grudges. A lot of times they occur between countries. Then, what we all end up is a war. It’s like we’re all little kids saying, “I’m right, and your wrong, na, na, na, na, etc! In the meantime, many innocent people are victimized. Look at all our brave soldiers that are killed fighting meaningless wars.

Alcoholics Anonymous recognizes the destructive force that grudges have. In one of the steps, people have to apologize and make amends to people they’ve hurt.

Family Grudges Occur Too Often

It’s amazing how many grudges occur within families. You often hear about brothers and sisters turning against each other. Sometimes, if happens after a parent dies and people have to decide what to do with remaining possessions or money. I’m convinced this all  emanates from childish feelings of jealousy.

I know someone who didn’t talk to his brother for 40 years because they got into a disagreement over a bottle of wine after their father’s funeral. One brother called the other cheap and poured his inexpensive bottle down the drain Unfortunately, by the time they talked one of them had Alzheimer’s Disease and didn’t even recognize his apologetic brother.  So, it never really got settled.

If a child acted like this, we’d put them both in time-out chairs.  After the time-out was over we’d have a little talk.  We would say, “Don’t call your brother cheap, and you apologize right now.”

It takes an effort

I guess if people don’t work to resolve issues, maybe their relationship was superficial in the first place. If you sincerely cared at all about the other person, you wouldn’t let your pride get in the way.

It’s true there are some relationships not worth salvaging; for example,  people who inflict serious physical and emotional damage are not worth talking to again.

Decide if it’s worth working out

If you are feuding with someone, and care about them, this is my advice: act like a grownup and resolve the issue.

You won’t be sorry. Someday, you might even forget what the fight was about, and that it ever happened.

You’re going to gain so much more than you’ll lose

What’s the silliest grudge you ever heard of? Do you ever think it’s a good idea to hold a grudge?