10 Good reasons not to have children….some observations from a mature woman

Child 1

Child 1 (Photo credit: Tony Trần)

Let me clarify this by saying, I liked being a parent, but I’ve seen other people who shouldn’t have even thought about it for a moment.

As my children will tell you, I was not perfect, but I did my best. (Besides I had a husband who was very well-suited for the job.) I think it always helps when there are two of you, but I guess it’s not necessary.

Here are my observations. I can do this because I am very mature, and don’t care what anyone thinks.

I invite you to agree or disagree with me!

Don’t have kids if…..

1. You are basically selfish. There’s no room for selfishness here, only unselfishness.

2. You are trying to save your marriage. Children will topple over a shaky marriage, and it’s not fair to bring them into a bad situation. Only bring children into a good situation.

3. You are lonely…. get a dog or cat instead. They can’t speak, and will give you unconditional love.

4. You have a low-level of frustration. Nothing will try your patience more than little kids. Your frustration will plunge to depths you didn’t know existed. (However, if you’re lucky their cuteness will keep you from losing it altogether. I guess it’s nature’s way.)

5. You just want to dress them up like a little doll. Chances are they won’t share your taste. This preference for clothing shows up quite early in life. When they figure out what you like, they’ll go the opposite direction. (Besides when they’re infants they may spit up on the outfit.)

6. You are lonely. Don’t put another person in charge of keeping you from loneliness. It isn’t fair, and it doesn’t really work.  (Have you seen Octomom, she looks very busy! As you can see if you read the link attached to this, she’s resorted to porn.)

7.  You want to live as a millionaire. (Does this really need an explanation?)

8.  You want a friend . Good parents look at their children as their responsibilities not as friends. You want to fit in with your friends who have children. Your children might not get along with your friend’s kids. Then, you won’t see them at all.

9, You want someone to give you comfort in your old age. Sometimes that works, other times, they may live on the other side of the world. You shouldn’t bring people into the world to take care of you.

10. You freak out when you hear a lot of noise, or smell unpleasant odors.  Be prepared to be around a lot of noise and smells, at least in the formatiive years.  Sitting in a quiet odorless room may be a rare pleasure.

Any additions to this list. Feel free!

Robert Blake on Piers Morgan: Liar or Victim?


Español: Robert Blake, más conocido como, Baretta

Español: Robert Blake, más conocido como, Baretta (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I almost didn’t watch  Robert Blake on Piers Morgan.  After all, I figure Robert Blake is a lying murderer. Now, I’m not sure.

He was on Piers Morgan to talk about a book he wrote. I hate to say it, but I may  want to read it.  It’s the story of his life I think he leaves out the fact that the family of Bonnie Blakely, his murdered wife,  won a civil trial against him. The civil court ruled he was liable for her untimely death.

The book he wrote  is all about his 75 years of working as an actor. I always thought he was slightly crazy. I did like his performance in “Cold Blood.”  It was his masterpiece of acting. On Baretta when he played a detective, I was mildly entertained.

When I used to see him on “The Johnny Carson” show I thought he was off his rocker. He talked about being crazy. He talked about his father locking him in a closet, and making him bark like a dog. He talked about unspeakable crimes his parents committed against him. So sad, so hard to listen to.

Piers opened the interview innocently enough. He said this book is fascinating, but it does ramble at parts.  Piers said, “ It’s the story about being betrayed, and constantly let down.”

He did show a clip from “ Cold Blood”. It showed Blake’s acting talent.

Piers finally brought up Bonnie’s death. Blake was very angry and defensive. He kept trying to tell Piers he “was looking silly.” As it turned out Blake’s “38 caliber gun” did not murder Bonnie.

What I remember about Bonnie was that she was a slimy person who’d betrayed many people, and gotten money out of them. I guess Blake was looking for his parents in a mate.

He said he really didn’t love her, but she was pregnant with his child, and that’s why he stayed with her.

Morgan said, “I want to talk about the most significant thing in your life.”
Blake said, “This wasn’t the most significant thing in my life, becoming an actor and a star at 5 was the most significant thing of my life.” Interesting answer. It makes me think he did it. He was just too cold about her demise.

He used to have money, but after the trial he was broke. I guess it would be annoying to lose millions of dollars, and have everyone think you were a murderer.

He threw God into the equation. He feels happy that God loves him. (It’s always interesting to me that people who haven’t done the greatest things bring God into the discussion.)

It was sad when he said, “nobody in Hollywood stood behind me.” He also said that his biggest dream is to make the perfect movie at the end of his life. He’s 79,

I would probably go see it. I have a feeling it’s never going to get made.

I was sure he murdered his wife, but now I’m only 90% sure.  If he didn’t do it, my suspicion is that he arranged it.

Postscript: I saw the family’s lawyer on the show Monday. He reminded the audience that Blake had asked several people to kill Bonnie for him. There were no takers. I guess he decided he had to do it himself.The attorney thought Blake should be very happy that he’s alive and out of jail. He was pretty convincing. And it only took around 10 minutes.

Did you see the interview?

What do you think?


Five lessons I’ve learned from people I admire

The Thinking Man sculpture at Musée Rodin in Paris

The Thinking Man sculpture at Musée Rodin in Paris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I notice that is so much easier to complain and be negative than to be happy and positive. I don’t know why that’s really true. Is it the path of least resistance. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about people I know and admire. What qualities make me want to be around them.

1. They are not complainers. If you ask them how they are, in general they will say things like:

“I can’t complain.”

“Life is great.”

“I’m pretty happy.”

Although I complain myself , I don’t want to hear it. That is definitely something I have to work on!

2. They are good listeners, and interested in your life and feelings.

Have you ever said thought-provoking things to someone, and they act like they haven’t heard a word you said? I had a conversation with someone like that today. They just kept talking about what they were doing.

Or how about the person who is only listening long enough to tell you something about themselves. (I am guilty of that myself, and it’s something I have to work on)

3. People I admire try to open their minds to new ideas. Sometimes, as people get older, they get stuck in thinking a certain way. (Yes, me too!) Sometimes we get stuck in the decade when we were young and impressionable.

4. People who I admire are adventuresome. They’ll try new restaurants, new places to visit, and new activities.  I am one of those people who like security. There’s security in doing the same thing over and over.

5. People I admire are tolerant of other points of view. For me, that’s one of the hardest things of all. Why is that?

6. People I admire are loyal  They will get over initial hurts, and look at the big picture. They will put family and friends first. I try to do this as much as I can, but I like others, are fallible too.

What are some qualities you admire in people? What do you think is important?