God, If You’re Not up There, I’m F*cked : A Review: A story about Darrell Hammond


 

 

Comedian Darrell Hammond on stage.

Comedian Darrell Hammond on stage. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Saturday Night Live (season 9)

Saturday Night Live (season 9) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked, opens up in a rehab facility in New York. The author, Darrell Hammond accurately describes how awful he feels. It’s a place where celebrities go to detox. It’s not the place you’d expect to find Hammond, a well-known comedian.

Hammond, is know for his masterful impersonations. If you’re a die-hard fan of Saturday Night Live, you’ve probably seen his lip-biting Bill Clinton, scowling Dick Cheney, hyper Chris Mathews and scores of other brilliant impressions.

While reading this book, you learn that being a drug addict and alcoholic is the least of Hammond’s problems. He’s been trying to figure out what’s wrong with him since he’s been 4 or 5 years old. After he hears his own child crying,  he starts having flashbacks to his frightening childhood.   It’s then that we learn about his abusive mother.

Inadvertently, she helped Hammond develop his talent. One of the things Mom liked to do was impressions of people in the neighborhood. Hammond joined right in with Mom to distract her.

Where was Hammond’s father?  Dad had his own quirks —including war post traumatic stress syndrome. Hammond and his dad share a love of baseball which brings them together.

Hammond manages to get away from his dysfunctional family and carve out a comic career for himself.

If you’re a fan of Saturday Night Live, you’ll enjoy this insider’s look at the show.

Hammond’s recovery is a work in progress, but by the end you’re cheering for him. This is a fast read, and inspirational. If you’re a little squeamish, it might not be for you.

 

Would you really want to live forever?


Today I  went to an interesting discussion class. One of the questions asked was:  “If it was possible, would you want to live forever?”

My answer, “yes, of course!” Some of the people thought there’d be too much pain involved with living into eternity. Let’s face it, no matter who you are, you’re going to get your fair share of disappointment and pain. On the other hand, you’re going to experience happiness too.

One of my beliefs is that when you are gone, that’s it. Lights out.  I don’t really believe in souls floating or going to a “better place.” I just think you cease to exist. I don’t remember the world before I was born, so I figure I won’t know about it after I’m gone.

i do like to entertain the possibility that maybe I’m wrong. Now, that would be a pleasant surprise, and I’ll be happy if I’m wrong.

I’m not afraid of dying because I know it’s part of the cycle.

There is a pre-teen book, Tuck Everlasting, which address this very issue. It’s for older kids and is excellent. It shows kids that living forever would get tiresome. Maybe so?

So, my question is this? If you had the chance, would you want to live forever?

Why or why not?

Feeling my age: I related to AARP Magazine


200

200 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve been getting AARP magazine free of charge since I’ve been 50. I’m now 62. I finally opened it up and started reading it.

I found it interesting. I could relate to every single article. Now, that is frightening. However,  I don’t think I’m ready for the 24 hour alarm thing that you wear around your neck in case you fall over and can’t get up.

I think people would still say I died young if I dropped over tomorrow. So, there is still some quality life left to live.

Does that mean I’m officially a senior citizen? I guess I’ve been one for a while, but just didn’t want to admit it to myself.

In this society, it is not cool to be older. And that’s too bad.  At least I’m not alone. There’s a lot of baby boomers, so why haven’t we managed to make it a popular thing? Maybe, because none of us wants to admit they’re old.

When did I first realize people looked at me differently?

I’m trying to remember the first time I had an inkling I wasn’t a 20, 30, or 40 something. I think it was when I was substitute teaching. The kids started asking me how old I was, and when I told them they looked shocked. Some comments included “when are you going to retire?”

I noticed the teachers in the teacher’s lounge looked like they were  my kid’s ages.  (That’s because they were.)

Maybe it was when the parking attendant called me “ma’am” for the first time. When I chastised him, he said, “ma’am my mother taught me to be polite to my elders.

Maybe it was when my kids started asking me to get my hearing checked. The times they started giving me unsolicited advice. (I don’t mind, they’re pretty wise for their ages).

I knew I was in trouble when I was in line for a job, and one of the other people applying offered me a seat. She said something like, “I’m so sorry, I should’ve offered this to you 10 minutes ago.  That was at least 10 or 15 years ago. Time gets blurry, the older you get.

When I was 40, I appeared on a call- in radio show for an hour.  The DJ made me an hour-long guest because he thought I was funny to be bemoaning the fact that I was turning 40.  Now I completely get it.

So, now what?
I’m thinking I should go on an adventure trip while I can still walk fast.  I heard the senior hostel trips are fun.

Maybe it’s time to admit, I’m older, and I’m lucky I haven’t bitten the dust. I’m in pretty good health, so I better start living it up. I actually feel as good as I ever did. (Maybe the secret is going to the gym, swimming aerobics, and walking! )

But, I still can’t walk into a senior citizens center. Not yet.

Any advice for having a rip-roaring time after 60? Any good adventure trips?

I don’t trust Mitt Romney: He gives me a bad vibe


Romney

Romney (Photo credit: Talk Radio News Service)

I do not appreciate Mitt Romney’s sense of humor, and I’m hoping it helps him lose the election. Surely, other people can see through his insincerity. I do think good character is important if you’re going to be a leader.
Romney made a birther joke today. Then, he said it wasn’t aimed at President Obama.  He was in Michigan today. He said something like, “I was born in  this hospital right here, and my wife was born in another hospital nearby Nobody asked for our birth certificates.”  (That’s not the exact quote).

I guess this goes along with him putting his dog on the top of his car ( while he was driving), his remark about not worrying about the poor, and going after the guy in high school who was gay. Not to mention his views on birth control and abortion. His choice of running-mate doesn’t sit well with me either.

I consider myself a good judge of character. I don’t like his character. He’s reminds me of someone who says hurtful things, and then excuses  it by saying, “I was only kidding.”

I felt the same way about Nixon. I was right about him.

I am afraid the fickle public are going to elect this guy.

He scares me.

Time will tell

TV Reaches a new low: Nancy Grace Weighs in on Honey Boo Boo


Nancy Grace's Objection! — How High-Priced Def...

Nancy Grace’s Objection! — How High-Priced Defense Attorneys, Celebrity Defendants, and a 24/7 Media Have Hijacked Our Criminal Justice System (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You want evidence our society is in trouble? What Toddlers and Tiaras. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. The show where the wannabe mothers doll their kids up, put on make up, and sexualize them with strange costumes.

There is a new offshoot starring Honey Boo Boo, one of the little beauty queens.

I really cannot take the lawyer Nancy Grace, but I stumbled upon her show while surfing the television. Nancy Grace seems just plain mean and nasty. (Her voice modulates between nasty and overly  sweet which just seems dishonest to me.)  She claims to want to help innocent victims of crime. The former prosecutor is pretty brutal to some of her guests. I think she drove one of them to suicide.

Every once in a while she’ll be talking about a controversial subject that interests me, so I’ll watch her show. Sometimes I find her extreme behavior slightly entertaining.

She was talking about “Honey Boo Boo”, a star from Toddlers and Tiaras.  Her mother is obviously starved for attention and is using Honey Boo Boo to make a name for herself.  She is succeeding.

One of Nancy’s guests was Mike Walker from the National Enquirer, the best trashy newspaper rag out there. Why Walker was offended by Honey Boo Boo makes no sense. He makes a living digging up dirt.  He should love watching Honey Boo Boo dress up in her Dolly Parton outfit, and wiggle her little behind.

Nancy Grace  on a campaign to stop Honey Boo Boo and her mother. (You may remember Nancy on Dancing with the Stars. She wasn’t afraid to wear provocative costumes on her overweight body.)

Nancy feels that sexual pedophiles are loving this show, and might go and try to hunt these little girls down. She contends that is probably what happened to Jon Benet Ramsey, the little beauty pageant winner who was murdered. They never found her killer.

Nancy  showed a video of Honey Boo Boo dancing at a college bar on top of the bar.   She also showed her pulling up her little shirt, rubbing her  already fat naked tummy, and drinking Go Go juice, a combination of Red Bull and Mountain Dew.  Honey Boo Boo  said, “it makes me laugh, and pull mommy’s hair.” She only uses it before a performance.

Honey Boo Boo’s father, a convicted felon, is trying to take custody of her. Like Nancy Grace, he feels this is child abuse. God knows what he’s planning to do with Honey Boo Boo once he gets custody.

But as much as Nancy Grace annoys me, I have to agree with her.

If those mothers want to be glamorous strippers, they ought to lose weight, get themselves in shape and live out their dreams. There is nothing more abusive than a parent who lives out their fantasies and dreams through their children.

What they’re doing to their kids is child abuse.

What is even sadder is that Toddlers and Tiaras is TLC’s—The Learning Channels—#1 show. Honey Boo Boo is an instant hit.

One of my friends suggested that people watch those shows to make themselves feel superior. (I may be a lousy mom, but at least I don’t dress up my child, and allow them to dance on top of a bar, or walk in a sexual way.)

Do you think there is a place for kiddie beauty pageants? Do you think Honey Boo Boo’s mom loves her child more than she loves herself? Convince me I’m wrong.

Are you going to San Francisco? Scott Mckenzie dies. He sang the “Flower Children’s” Anthem


Scott McKenzie very recently passed away. He was ill. At least he didn’t die from a drug overdose. He had such a lovely clear voice. It awakened some of us living  during “the summer of love.”

This was the anthem song of  the 60’s. It made us all want to leave our safe lives and venture out to San Francisco to become “hippies”.

The dream eventually  turned into a nightmare. We were to discover that drugs didn’t really bring peace, love and happiness.  When I was recently in San Francisco, there were a few pathetic people hanging around Haight/ Ashbury . Some people got caught up in the drug scene and never left.

One of the writers of the song, John Phillips, of “The Mama and Papa’s got caught up in the drug lifestyle. His autobiography, Papa John, talked about the endless drugs, and his decadent lifestyle. He wrote the book while he was still using drugs.

Mckenzie traveled around in one of the later “Mama and Papa tours.” That tour included MacKenzie Philips who accused Papa John of some unspeakable acts in her autobiography, High on Arrival. It also included Elaine McFarlane from Spanky and Our Gang.

But, for some of us hearing this song, brings back that idealistic hopeful feeling. It seemed like life was really going to change for the better. Sometimes, I think we unleashed  a Pandora’s Box of drug use.

But maybe you caught up in the 60’s and escaped without wounds. I’d love to hear your story. If you got caught up in the drug scene, I’d love to hear about that too.

What would Jesus think? Skinny dipping in the Sea of Galillee


It seems that last August, members of congress were invited to Israel. They say they had a nice dinner and too much to drink. Twenty congressmen jumped in the Sea of Galilee. The episode was inappropriate because Kevin Yoder, a Republican congressman, decided to dive in without his swim trunks. I guess some other Republicans followed his example.

I found this on another website, so it might not be the real thing. But, you can get the idea! (credit balloon-juice.com)

All  the  petty politicians on both sides of the aisles are acting so shocked. They’ve all done a lot worse than skinny dipping in the Galilee. (I’m just guessing,so don’t quote me on that.)

These governmental representatives are really annoying, and dare I say,
not paying attention to the real issues.

I bet some of our founding fathers, like Benjamin Franklin, would’ve been happy to skinny dip. I think he would find all the politicians—on both sides of the aisle— boring and a big disappointment.

What do you think?