You can’t expect to live life without running into problems. Sometimes people get so frustrated, that they decide to hold a grudge. What’s so unsettling about a grudge is that it keeps the bitter feelings alive. It hurts all parties involved every time they think about it.
According to my New Oxford Online Dictionary a grudge is: resentment, bitterness, rancor, pique, umbrage, dissatisfaction, disgruntlement, bad feelings, hard feelings, ill feelings, ill will, animosity, antipathy, antagonism, enmity, animus; informal a chip on one’s shoulder.
We all know about grudges. A lot of times they occur between countries. Then, what we all end up is a war. It’s like we’re all little kids saying, “I’m right, and your wrong, na, na, na, na, etc! In the meantime, many innocent people are victimized. Look at all our brave soldiers that are killed fighting meaningless wars.
Alcoholics Anonymous recognizes the destructive force that grudges have. In one of the steps, people have to apologize and make amends to people they’ve hurt.
Family Grudges Occur Too Often
It’s amazing how many grudges occur within families. You often hear about brothers and sisters turning against each other. Sometimes, if happens after a parent dies and people have to decide what to do with remaining possessions or money. I’m convinced this all emanates from childish feelings of jealousy.
I know someone who didn’t talk to his brother for 40 years because they got into a disagreement over a bottle of wine after their father’s funeral. One brother called the other cheap and poured his inexpensive bottle down the drain Unfortunately, by the time they talked one of them had Alzheimer’s Disease and didn’t even recognize his apologetic brother. So, it never really got settled.
If a child acted like this, we’d put them both in time-out chairs. After the time-out was over we’d have a little talk. We would say, “Don’t call your brother cheap, and you apologize right now.”
It takes an effort
I guess if people don’t work to resolve issues, maybe their relationship was superficial in the first place. If you sincerely cared at all about the other person, you wouldn’t let your pride get in the way.
It’s true there are some relationships not worth salvaging; for example, people who inflict serious physical and emotional damage are not worth talking to again.
Decide if it’s worth working out
If you are feuding with someone, and care about them, this is my advice: act like a grownup and resolve the issue.
You won’t be sorry. Someday, you might even forget what the fight was about, and that it ever happened.
You’re going to gain so much more than you’ll lose
What’s the silliest grudge you ever heard of? Do you ever think it’s a good idea to hold a grudge?